Sitting alone quietly in this normally boisterous home adorned with the mainstays of traditional Christmas decoration on the afternoon of New Years Eve allows me to breathe and think like I usually have not had the chance to. I stayed up late with my mom last night making jewelry while she fixed some pajama pants, spending some time together because she was going to her boyfriend's family's New Years gathering out of town. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation played, and we put on Mel Brooks' Young Frankenstein after that. We laughed through both and silently enjoyed each other's company while we worked.
This morning I was slow in waking and waited an unusual couple hours to sit for my morning (it was noon) meditation, part of it because my mom was being picked up soon and I was waiting to say goodbye to her before I sat down in stillness. Since then, I steeped rosemary to put on my scalp, to enliven my roots and hair follicles, as well as to stop the slight itching and dryness of my scalp created by the dry, late-to-arrive-to-south-Florida crisp and colder air. I simply felt an urge to make it, so I did. Making it I am pleased by thoughts of the dream like memory of reading of spell craft some where of the benefits of the rosemary scalp infusion and its particular use during spring or on the New Year. Making it only because I felt urged to, and not because of the memory, I smile to myself, happy to feel that Spirit is guiding me, my actions and even my magick, connecting me through time to the knowledge of the ancestors and silently aligning my life rhythms to that of the stars and the cosmos at large; As Above, So Below - So Within, So Without.
The time awake before my meditation and Kriya was actually spent of facebook, looking at all the posts people were putting up. I actually have noticed over the last few days that I spend a considerable amount of time (relative to how much time I spend on the computer to begin with) doing this. My thoughts actually feel quite similar to what I feel when people watching at a store, mall or airport, except that watching status updates I can see what people I know are thinking because they shared it, rather than guessing or hearing the thoughts of strangers, or simply watching their actions and body language. Here, people can put their minds on display, so to speak. I think this is rather interesting. The way we communicate and share experiences is changing, whether it's leading to a superficial world void of real interaction between people, or a hyper spacial leap of the collective human mind-spirit into virtual or supra-reality wherein everyone IS everyone else and reality is literally created by our thoughts in real time, is hard to say. But it's New Year's Eve 2011, and here's to all the crazy, impossible and wonderful things to come in 2012! The Big One. We're here.
Seeing all these posts from everyone has made think quite a bit, graciously allowed by the silence and calm of the apartment, the atmosphere aided by two sleeping cats. I'm sure a good amount of today's philosophical bend and musings have been spurred by merely being alone right now and the end of a year, and really, in many ways, the end of an era. Being at the end of a year, the edge between this year and the next is like tipping forward at the brink of the plunge into the mystery of what 2012 will bring. On every level, from the most personal and intimate unfoldments of mine and our lives, including emotion struggles, growth and transformation (and here's to revelation!) and family drama, to the largest changes coming to communites, countries, the human species and the planet. We can either be overwhelmed by uncertainty and fall in fear and hysteria into the dark depths with doubt, OR we can dive head first into the Abyss, full of grace, faith and courage, putting everything on the line, reaching for our innermost calling and desires, riding on HOPE we did not know we had and thought we ran out of long ago, plunging fast towards redemption, fulfillment and satisfaction.
Sincerely, for a long time I have felt like I - like we are all - running out of time. Even if NOTHING HAPPENS BY THE END OF 2012, we all stand at the end of another year, facing time, the temporal and ephemeral nature of life, and our very own mortality with no nothing to protect us. Yes, even if NOTHING HAPPENS after Dec. 2012, WE WILL ALL REACH OUR OWN DEC 21 2012. Unlike the elements of earthly erosion like heat, wind, water, and ice, Time is the one element of life and this reality that will find us no matter where we are or how we live. Time allows us to experience life - be born and begin a journey, feel things, think things, choose things and, eventually, to bid farewell in gratitude for the journey, and walk through the door with the great EXIT sign through which all living beings must pass - Death. The great equalizer of men, the liberator of life, He who speaks not. Let us think of Death now, as this year comes to its own, so that we may also think of LIFE, embracing the Year 2012, hoping for the best, and acting accordingly, being grateful for the life we have, knowing that Life cannot exist without Death, nor Death without Life, and that WE ARE BLESSED TO BE ALIVE!
As a last thought for you, during my breathing today I notice the rise of a thought - "no one should be alone on the holidays." From this arose many intermingled and actually contradicting feelings, from the warmth and security created by the concept, touching the ancient genetic tribal desire for family, safety and a full belly, to the compassion and sadness for those who do not have family or friends with which to share these days, to my own immediate circumstance of being physically alone (my younger brother in Orlando with his dad/my step dad, my dad living in WA, and my mother leaving for the celebration) and the impending possibility of me not really being with anyone tonight at midnight (my companion, Maria being made to work tonight - she works at a night club). Since then Maria has told me she doesn't have to go in after all, which made me quite happy. THIS, though, is what lead me write this paragraph. Although I have several options of what I could do tonight and be some where full of people having fun, it really didn't and wouldn't have meant anything for me if I went and didn't have at least some one I was truly close to by my side. I don't mean some one to even be romantically involved with or anything, but someone that I care about deeply, and who I know cares about me the same way. Is that not (it could be said) what the entire human condition and experience revolves around? It doesn't matter how many people are around us, but rather who is around us, not only to help us resolve and release what we do not want in our lives any more but to also Welcome and Embrace what we do want in our lives INCLUDING THEM! We kiss and hold each other's hands as we walk through the threshold of this year's death to the birth of the next and our own rebirth, inviting each other to help CO-CREATE the life and reality we deserve and want for our selves and others!
We can do anything! We simply need to ACT ACCORDINGLY.
In the year to come we are going to be given great opportunities for POWERFUL CHANGE and GROWTH. We MUST take advantage of that and live our lives fully, helping one another always, and aligning all our actions for the greater good. For Freedom, Peace and Prosperity.
HAPPY NEW YEAR! HAPPY AND JOYOUS 2012! MAY WE LIVE THE BEST WAY WE KNOW HOW, FOR OUR SELVES AND EACH OTHER!
To All my Family and Friends, I love you. May you always have plenty, may you always be healthy, may you always be happy.
